


Consequences

by ayuwensayk



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, The Ultimates AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-28
Updated: 2013-01-28
Packaged: 2017-11-27 06:25:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayuwensayk/pseuds/ayuwensayk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's heart keeps on breaking but Tony can't help him because he doesn't remember why it's happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Well I woke up this morning listening to Notwist 'Consequence' - from 'Push' a Chris Evans movie - for which this fic is named and upon waking I had sudden Ultimate Stony feels. I apologies in advance.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsZVg6Z5viw

When Steve woke up this morning to go for a run at his usual early hour of five, it wasn’t because of how the sun makes a habit of shining its way through the blinds and lighting up the room; it was from the light pattered rhythm of the rain against the window. And from his view over the city, New York looked sad. But not only did the city just seem sad, the streets where empty of people with no motorists hogging the roads and no cyclists or over eager runners swerving through the cars and no police. It all looked lonely and depressing, too much like how Steve felt. He stopped gazing over the city and focused on the rain drops tapping lightly on the other side of the window. Ending their journey from high in the sky only to hit the glass and slide down to the seal leaving stripes along the glass, which seemed too much like tears slipping down cheeks. His tears; his face. The sky gave the impression that it was falling when it rained, Steve use to love lying on the roof and watching it fall. But now as he stood at his window at the top of the tower and stared out toward the city and watched the rain drop from the sky, he felt like his world was falling too. Shattering above him into tiny piece he couldn’t collect and put back together. Falling apart all around him and he could do nothing to stop it. He felt like all he loved was being slowing taken from him and soon when it was all but gone, he would have nothing left. He could feel all his love slipping from his heart only to be replaced by anger and sadness and fear with every passing day. And with every passing day it got worse and he could feel it all, every slip, every absence left in its wake being filled with every emotion he never wanted to feel. 

A quite groan and ruffle of sheets has his attention return from the window and his miserable thoughts to the bed at his left. The bed that cradled all he cared for between the warm blankets that made up its embrace. He decided against running this morning and softly pads over and slips back between the sheets. He lies on his stomach and stares at the man before him, all messy dark hair and serene in his sleep. Steve closes his eyes and reaches out to the other man, running his fingers lightly over the sleeping face and memorising every slop, every angle and every inch of skin storing it away for when this face isn’t here to see or to touch anymore. A flutter of eye lashes butterfly against his fingers and when he opens his eyes again two big beautifully wide brown eyes are staring at him. 

“Good morning.” Steve whispers into the early hours of the morning for the man lying next to him.

“Hey” Says his love. And for the briefest of moments everything is there. Those beautiful brown eyes display every memory and all the love Steve knows this man holds. Then the next moment those brown eyes are vacant and all the memories and love has gone. “Who are you?” His dark headed lover whispers and Steve’s heart breaks a little more then but he can’t look away, not now, not ever. 

A few seconds pass before tears start to well up in his eyes as he answers “I’m Steve Rogers. Do you remember?” He asks hoping for hope that today would be a good day. The head of dark messy hair shakes in response. 

“No, I don’t remember. Did I pick up last night at a club or something?” says the other man.

Steve knows what comes next if he lies or if he tells the truth. He has done this so many times before he has become an expert. “No Tony, I’m Captain America.” He softly replies.

“Oh” says Tony connecting the name with the title and relating them both to the face he has seen many times before in his father’s old photographs, and now the face that he is looking at. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead? I thought you were dead.” He then whispers back.

“I was. Well I was frozen” Steve says and then even lower he continues “You found me and gave me another chance at life.” Steve’s eyes haven’t left Tony’s at all while they have been speaking and throughout they have seemed mildly confused, so he notices when a mischievous spark lights within the other man’s eyes. 

With a wide grin reaching from ear to ear Tony asks “And what may I enquire is Captain America doing in my bed?” Steve knows that it isn’t real; it’s that fake smile he puts on for everyone but those closest to him and it hurts. It hurts Steve to see this fake smile directed at him after all the times he has only ever received Tony’s real smile, the one that holds all his love. To many emotions flow from within him and the sadness and hopelessness that has been threatening to overwhelm him since he woke up does; and the tears he has been fighting so strongly to hold back overflow and slide down his cheeks and drip onto the sheets. The smile slips from Tony’s face as his big brown eyes widen as they meet Steve’s devastated blue ones pouring out his soul.  
“No. No, no, why are you crying? It’s okay Steve you don’t have to cry I’m not going to do anything honest. Don’t cry, please. Please Steve, please don’t cry.” Without any thoughts Tony reaches out and curls Steve against his chest, knowing that this will calm him down but without understanding how he knows this. Tony holds Steve loosely in his arms trying to understand how this happened and how they got to this point. But every time he thinks he has gotten close to the answer it floats away from him and every time he grabs a hold of it, it dissolves into the area around him. Seeing a man such as Captain America shaking with tears and curled into his side reminds him that he feels he should know what is happening but he just doesn’t and he doesn’t know how to get it back either. His eyes begin to tear up as well at the revelation that he is missing something important, the most important thing in his life.

They stay curled like this for what seems like hours to both of them, and they both don’t remember when Tony started drawing circles onto Steve’s back. But a little hope shines through as Steve remembers Tony use to do this, to comfort him when he was upset and confused with the world, before Tony got sick and forgot.

“Tony” Steve whispers, he knows that if he were to speak normally he won’t be able to hide the sadness and the tears would start to flow again. 

“Yeah Steve?” Tony asks just as quietly closing his eyes and letting the tears streak his cheeks as they roll down his face. He is sad because Steve is sad and he feels so much towards this man but can’t understand why because they don’t even know each other; in fact this is the first time Tony can ever remember meeting Captain America, well meeting Steve. But Steve remembers their history together, all of it; the fights and arguments, the friendship and the laughter which lead to their love and years of happiness, until Tony got sick and started to forget, and now he keeps forgetting.

“I… I love you.” Steve says “I know you don’t… you don’t remember us and you probably don’t understand what is happening right now but I just want you to know that, that I do love you; Now and forever.”

“Steve” he says as he pulls him in closer tightening his arms around him. Then Tony remembers that he does know Steve and that he loves Steve back with all his heart; and he remembers the fights and the arguments and the laughter and all his smiles directed at Steve going from fake to real, slowly but steadily. He remembers their first kiss, only a peck soft and sweet in the kitchen at two in the morning. And he remembers their second kiss two weeks later in his lab after a practically dangerous mission where they both almost drowned – a sore spot for them both – all teeth and tongues and full of heat, full of passion. He remembers the first time Steve told him that he loved him, standing on the roof of the tower gazing up at the stars together and the sad yet happy look he wore on his face for a month before Tony said it back over the com-line in the middle of battle. He remembers the teams words of confusion and disbelief over the line before he lost consciousness; their faces when he woke up in a hospital bed with Steve’s hand in his and the kiss they shared when he turned his head towards him. And most of all Tony remembers the look of utter happiness and love Steve always showed when they were together. And squeezing his eyes tight to hold on to all those years of memories and holding Steve so close and hopefully not for the last time he said it back, “I love you too Steve, with all of my heart, now and forever.” 

With the tears still flowing freely from his eyes Steve lifted his face from Tony’s chest to look at him. How Tony just confessed his love to Steve now was the exact same way he had confessed it that first time over the com-lines in battle. This was his Tony right now and Steve wasn’t going to let him slip away again without giving him his whole heart, hopefully not for the last time. “You leave me paralysed Tony” Steve says as he stares deep into his loves eyes, “and I don’t think I can move on without you.” He takes Tony’s face in between his hands and kisses him lightly, then continues, “You leave me hypnotised with your love and I can’t think straight when you’re not around, or when you’re hurt, or when you’re not well; I don’t want to think about when you’re gone.” At that Tony pulls Steve’s body in flush against his own and kisses him passionately deepening it as Steve does. Tongues and bodies entwined with each other just as their lives are and their love will be forever.

“I wish I could stay with you Steve, the whole day long.” Tony whispers when they part tears still present; they do not move from each other’s space and continue to share each other’s breath. “I wish I could stay with you forever. I love you.”

Then Tony remembers his doctors saying he was slowly dying of a brain tumour and there was nothing that could be done. He feels himself fade as a consequence and then Tony doesn’t remember.

“I love you too Tony” Steve says again as he watches their history, their love, fade from Tony’s memory, from his eyes. He presses his lips to Tony’s one last time and then removes his hands from Tony’s face and sits back watching him.

Tony looks at Steve for a long minute then, blank brown eyes staring into his sad blue eyes still wet with tears. “Hello gorgeous.” He says drawing it out longer than necessary the start of a smirk playing on his face “Why are you crying” He asks and then says “was I horrible last night? That doesn’t sound like me, I always give 100%; especially to those as gorgeous as you.” And then there’s that fake smile once more breaking Steve’s heart all over again.

Steve looks away and over at the photo on the bed side table. It’s of them on their official first date as an outed gay superhero couple, and they are eating ice cream looking at each other laughing because it had melted all over their hands. Tony has it dripping down his chin because he had tried to lick Steve’s cheek with a tongue full of chocolate ice cream but tripped. They couldn’t stop laughing for hours afterwards.

Tony follows Steve’s gaze over to the photograph and recognises the guy from it as the guy sitting in front of him; “Oh” was all he said.


End file.
